Crossroads

Around a month ago, we answered a questionnaire regarding Culture in the Workplace for our Cultural Awareness class. One aspect which was checked in that questionnaire was our need for certainty. Out of a 100, I scored a 75. Some would probably argue that that is a normal figure. But given that the average score for Filipinos is 44; and out of the 15 countries tested, Brazil with a score of 76 ranked 5th from the highest, my need for certainty is absolutely in the higher levels. Which is probably why given the circumstances I am in right now, I'm certainly feeling stressed and at the same time I'm feeling absolutely giddy.

I never really saw this event happening. It was such a great surprise that I literally felt the chills when I read about it. But it's something that I really want. I never expected to get this near, which is actually not even as near as it seems. It's just quite unfathomable for me. And that is why I can't get over this until it's settled. I can't get over it until I know for sure what the verdict is.

I don't hate the circumstances. I am in a point right now where I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Opportunities like this come but once and I'm certainly up for feeling whatever it is that I'm feeling right now if it means that I get to have a shot at it. I just don't like the feeling that everything's about to change, whatever the result is. I'm gonna be changed for life by this, whatever the outcome is.

Ahhhh... I'm just talking in riddles. This is what uncertainty does to me. I go crazy.