Grand Gestures

I have an obsession with grand gestures.

It probably started when I was in Grade 6 when I had this ridiculously huge crush on a classmate. It was the first time I had a serious crush on someone. It was so ridiculous that I even used the numbers standing for his initials in my email address a year later (which I'm still using for my FB acount, btw).

He never gave me any indication that he liked me back but at the back of my mind, he was just waiting for the right moment to profess his undying love for me. So come Valentine's Day, I waited. This was a huge feat for me as I never mentioned this secret desire to anyone. It's like I was guarding this wonderful thing that I know would be happening and only I knew about it - so I waited. But it never came. That classmate never even came to class that day. He was from Cavite and since Valentine's Day was also Teachers' Day in our school, we only had to go to school for half-a-day. His parents probably thought that it was more practical for him to just stay at home rather than go to school and watch song and dance numbers for the teachers - it saves them effort and gas money that way.

You would probably think that after that miserable day when I was 12, I would have already learned my lesson. You'd think that it would be dramatic for my naive little heart that I'd be swearing off boys for the rest of my life. (Haha!) But it was just the opposite. The more they didn't happen, the higher my expectations became for the next possible moment. The fact that those grand gestures didn't come only fueled the desire for an even better moment. The more they didn't come, the grander I imagined they would be. Sadly, until now, I'm waiting for it to finally happen.

You'd probably think, I'm pathetic. And more often than not, I feel that way. Because realistically, how many times would these moments occur in a person's life? But I guess, when you've been waiting as long as I have, you don't think of waiting for it as crazy anymore. Because you know that when it comes, all the time you've spent waiting, all those times you've been disappointed, each and every one of those will be worth it.